Matryoshka
by nofearonlylove
Summary: They had never gone a single day without at least speaking to each other. Even when they argued, they would at least exchange pleasantries. But due to Red's fatal mistakes, she had lost the right to mother her. She had lost the right to call them her family. - Red faces the consequences of her actions in Season 1. Please R&R. ONESHOT.


**AN: Just a short interlude set in Season 1. Special thanks to AliceSloane13 who gave me this plot bunny, You are the best my love!**

 **If you enjoyed this story, please drop me a line or leave a review! Thanks again for all your support! XOXO - E**

It was Christmas day at Litchfield.

Normally, this was Red's favorite holiday. She always tried to keep up morale for her family, and make dinner extra special.

But this year, she had no kitchen and she had no family. Gina had been hurt because of her stupidity. None of her girls were talking to her anymore. Norma's silence was so much louder to her now.

She had many Christmas' here at Litchfield, but she had never felt alone during one. Until now.

She sat alone in the cafeteria, and looked up at the sound of Lorna, Boo & Nicky laughing and teasing each other as they entered. She couldn't help but stare. She longed for them. And as much as she hated to admit it, she needed them.

Unsurprisingly, it was Nicky who caught her eye from across the room, and her heart dropped when she saw her girl immediately tear her gaze away. Had she truly lost Nicky, too?

She had been a fucking idiot. She had no idea how to make things right. What could she do? What could she say, to make things right? For the first time since her incarceration, Red seemed to be at a loss.

She stared at the apple in front of her she had yet to eat. She had little to no appetite. She wanted to be sure that Gina would be all right. She had heard that she would be, but she still worried. She knew she had been burned badly, and that she would have scars. Jesus Christ. First Tricia. Now Gina. Red looked up and gazed longingly at Nicky again. If she caused any harm to come to Nicky, she knew she would never get over it. She loved all of her girls, but Nicky was different and always had been.

They had never gone a single day without at least speaking to each other. Even when they argued, they would at least exchange pleasantries. But due to Red's fatal mistakes, she had lost the right to mother her.

She had lost the right to call them her family.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she was surprised to see Burset perched on the table to the right of her. She suppressed a sigh and cleared her throat instead. "Burset...what do I owe the pleasure?"

Sophia reached over a ruffled Red's hair. "You know, you can't really keep the nickname 'Red' anymore if you don't wear a chef's coat with the word embroidered on it and you don't have red hair, can you?"

Red glared at her. "What's your point, exactly?"

Sophia rolled her eyes and smiled, hopping off the table. "You come by my salon when you get a chance, honey. Got a little surprise waiting for you there."

Red eyed her suspiciously. What could Burset have that could possibly be a "surprise" to her?

Sophia chuckled. "Relax! It's Christmas Day. Not everyone in this place thinks you deserves a stocking full of coal. Just come by when you can. I'll be around most of the morning."

Red watched her scurry off, and she sighed deeply. She stood up, stuffed her apple inside of her hoodie's pocket and decided to take a walk to clear her head. Before walking out, she looked over her shoulder and could have sworn she caught Nicky staring at her.

She turned away and headed out of the cafeteria and made her way outside, lost in thought. Maybe Nicky missed her, too? She hoped their secret santa plans had gone well. Red had Gina's name and she selfishly wasn't planning on participating, despite Nicky's good intentions. Red regretted it now. She'd give anything to turn back time.

Norma's gift to her was to tear up her name and throw the pieces of paper in her face which, Red knew she deserved. Red felt like she did before coming to Litchfield. A fish out of water. An outsider. Red had always been a compassionate person, but prison had changed her. She no longer recognized herself. Inside and out.

Maybe she should make that trip to the salon after all.

Within the hour, Red begrudgingly made it to the salon, where Burset appeared to be waiting patiently for her, reading a magazine. Red crossed her arms. "So...where is this surprise, hmm?"

Sophia pointed to the chair and motioned for Red to sit down, which she reluctantly did. Sophia put some gloves on and grabbed a few things out of some cabinets, which Red immediately took note of. Red hair dye. She looked at Sophia with confusion through the mirror. "Why are you doing this? Don't I have to pay you with some commissary?"

Sophia shook her head. "Already paid for."

Red turned around to look at her. "Paid for? By whom?"

"One of your girls."

Red rolled her eyes. "I realize that. Who? When?"

"I'm not telling you who but just yesterday one of your _big mouthed_ girls came to my salon with a shit load of foils and a few hair brushes, stuff like that. Said she was sick and tired of looking at that hair of yours and to make sure you snap out of whatever funk you are in, so here we are. She also said it was a Christmas gift and to quit asking questions."

Red swallowed hard. _Nicky._ Her girl had gone through all this trouble for her, despite everything?

She turned back around and looked up at Sophia in the mirror after pulling herself together. "Okay, Burset. Work your magic."

~ NRNRNRNRNRNRNRNRNRNRNRRNRNR ~

Red couldn't help but roll her eyes at the music coming from inside the auditorium. This "pageant" was a great idea and all but, it was also a little ridiculous. Red had no use for it.

It was quiet in the room, most of the girls were at the pageant. She could hear the quiet snores of her girl, just a cubicle away from her. She had heard Nicky's sniffles, sneezes and coughing all day, and was relieved that she was able to fall asleep.

She hated it when Nicky wasn't feeling well. Despite everything, Nicky was still her baby. She hoped that they could find their way back to each other soon. Tricia's death almost tore them apart, but Nicky's betrayal had only made Red trust her more, and in some ways they felt closer. And now she had lost her kitchen, and had injured Gina, and lost her family in the process.

Red bit her lip and reached over to grab the matryoshka nesting dolls she kept on her vanity. She opened them and took out the smallest one, and then gathered the courage to get up out of her bunk and walk the few steps over to where Nicky slept.

Red stood there and watched her for awhile. Nicky's arm was draped off of the side of the bed, her mouth slightly ajar. Red frowned when Nicky suddenly shivered, and she walked over to pull the blanket tighter around her and up to her chin.

She placed the doll beside Nicky's body on the bed, a small note tucked inside of it that said: _You never fail to amaze me in your ability to melt my heart and insult me at the same time, my girl. I miss you. Thank you for the gift. I wish I had more to give you, but this will have to do for now. Love, Red._

Red's eyes filled with tears and she reached down to place a gentle, lingering kiss on Nicky's forehead, happy to see she didn't have a fever. "I promise to make things right again, malyshka. I'll figure out a way. You mean too much for me to just give up. I love you."

Red pulled back and wiped her tears away with the backs of her hands. Nicky would always be her girl, even if she never wanted to speak to her again. She just hoped she could find a way to make it up to her.

She hoped she could find a way to make it up to all of them.

 **FIN.**


End file.
